Gratefully His Read online

  Gratefully His

  By Shawn Lane

  Published by JMS Books LLC

  Visit jms-books.com for more information.

  Copyright 2017 Shawn Lane

  ISBN 9781634863605

  Cover Design: Written Ink Designs | written-ink.com

  Image(s) used under a Standard Royalty-Free License.

  All rights reserved.

  WARNING: This book is not transferable. It is for your own personal use. If it is sold, shared, or given away, it is an infringement of the copyright of this work and violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

  No portion of this book may be transmitted or reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief excerpts used for the purposes of review.

  This book is for ADULT AUDIENCES ONLY. It may contain sexually explicit scenes and graphic language which might be considered offensive by some readers. Please store your files where they cannot be accessed by minors.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are solely the product of the author’s imagination and/or are used fictitiously, though reference may be made to actual historical events or existing locations. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Published in the United States of America.

  NOTE: This book was previously published by Amber Quill Press.

  * * * *

  Gratefully His

  By Shawn Lane

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 1

  Sebastian Walton stared at the house his friend, Hector Rivera, grew up in and the house he’d spent a lot of time in himself. Once upon a time, as the story goes, the Waltons had a house just a few spaces down. But after high school his mom and dad had sold the house and retired to Arizona. Hector’s family had never left. Even now, after Hector’s dad had died of a heart attack three years ago, his mother wanted to stay in their home.

  “It looks the same,” he told Hector as they stood at the curb having just exited Hector’s Honda sedan.

  “We haven’t been gone that long. Just for Cecilia’s wedding. Besides, it always looks the same.” Hector went to the trunk and opened it, taking out their two small bags.

  They were now in their senior year of college at Stanford in Northern California and they were here for a week’s visit between semesters.

  Hector glanced at the Ford Hybrid in the driveway. “Looks like Pablo is here.”

  Sebastian’s breath caught, his heart suddenly kicking up its pace. Pablo Rivera was Hector’s impossibly sexy older brother. Sebastian had spent most of his life having a bit of a boy crush on Pablo. When he was in high school, there had been that time—

  “Earth to Sebastian.” Hector waved his hand in front of Sebastian’s face. “You okay?”

  “Sorry, lost in memories.”

  “Let’s go. Mama’s expecting us.”

  Hector led the way to the familiar front door of the four bedroom ranch-style home. It had been painted the same burnt umber color since Sebastian was a small boy. The paint was cracking and peeling in places.

  He’d had his first kiss here. Both of them. The one he’d shared with his high school girlfriend, Cecilia Rivera, Hector’s little sister, and the one in their swimming pool he’d shared with Pablo, Hector’s older brother.

  It was the pool kiss that had meant the most to him. And had been the most shocking. He remembered it like yesterday. Pablo’s taste and smell…

  * * * *

  Sebastian watched Pablo as he stood on the diving board. The nineteen-year-old wore tiny little red swim trunks that barely covered his tight ass and showed off how large his dick was. As Sebastian stared at his golden brown skin, he stretched his muscular arms high above his head. Pablo had hardly any chest hair and Sebastian wondered if he waxed. His mouth watered as his gaze lowered to Pablo’s washboard stomach and lower to that prominent bulge.

  Pablo dived with barely any discernible splash, emerging several seconds later. His dark chin-length hair was wet and plastered to his head, and droplets of pool water clung to his cheeks, nose, and chin.

  Sebastian turned away and swam to one side of the pool, holding onto the side. What the hell was wrong with him? He wasn’t supposed to be attracted to other guys. Hell, he was dating CeCe, Pablo and Hector’s sister. Boys didn’t like other boys. Not unless they were gay and he certainly couldn’t be gay, right?

  He tried to ignore Pablo as he swam by, but it was almost impossible not to watch those muscular long legs kicking. Where was Hector, anyway? If his friend would hurry and come out to the pool he could distract Sebastian from Pablo.

  Without even turning around, Sebastian knew Pablo had stopped right behind him. Sebastian held his breath. Should he swim away to the shallow end, putting safe distance between him and the object of his fascination?

  Pablo felt so close, he could swear he felt the heat from Pablo’s body. His body reacted to the nearness, his dick rising against his own swim trunks.

  “Sebastian.”

  The word, a husky whisper with just a hint of an accent, caused his heart to clench, his lungs to seize. Part of him started to panic, thinking he should try to get away, swim under Pablo’s arm to freedom. But really, what was Pablo going to do or say? He didn’t need to fear anything.

  Sebastian turned around, but still gripped the side of the pool. Pablo was closer than he had even thought. He stared directly into whiskey-brown eyes dotted with flecks of gold. He smelled faintly of strawberries and sunscreen. Sebastian dropped his gaze to Pablo’s sensual lips, which were curved into a sexy as sin smile.

  His breath came in short little gasps as Pablo leaned toward him and touched his lips to Sebastian’s. It was not the gentle, hesitant kiss he’d shared with CeCe. But hot, demanding, exhilarating. Pablo pushed his tongue inside Sebastian’s mouth and suddenly he was clinging to Pablo’s shoulders, returning the kiss.

  “You want a soda?” Hector called from just inside the house.

  Sebastian pushed away from Pablo instantly, his face flaming hot. Pablo showed no reaction, but swam away.

  * * * *

  “Come in, come in,” Lucy Rivera, the warm and welcoming matriarch of the Rivera family, greeted them at the front door. “You’re late.”

  She kissed and hugged Hector first and then turned to envelope Sebastian in her embrace. “Oh, you are too skinny.”

  He laughed and kissed her cheek. “Not so.”

  Hector sniffed the air as he set their bags down in the front hall. “Do I smell chile rellenos?”

  “Yes, yes, that’s dinner.” The plump gray-haired woman looked down at their bags. “That’s all you brought?”

  “We’re only here a week, Mama.”

  “Boys. Come, Hector, you stay in your room, and Sebastian, you’ll stay in CeCe’s old room.”

  They followed her down the short hallway to the bedrooms. CeCe had married last year to a man she had met the summer after high school. Sebastian and CeCe had already broken up by then. He still adored her, but more like a sister.

  “Hey, is Pablo here?” Hector asked.

  “Yes, your brother is staying here with me right now.”

  Hector frowned. “I thought he was living with that guy. Um, Peter?”

  Sebastian remembered when Pablo had come out as gay the year after their pool kiss. Which neither of them had mentioned after Hector had interrupted them. Sebastian had been waiting for Pablo to mention it, but he never had. Sebastian guessed maybe he regretted the kiss or thought Sebastian was the worst kisser. He didn’t know.
>
  Then after coming out, Pablo had entered the police academy. From what Hector told him, most of the police Pablo worked with were cool with his sexuality, though he still got some flak.

  As for the Riveras themselves, they’d accepted Pablo’s announcement like most things. As though it must be God’s will.

  “It didn’t work out,” Mrs. Rivera said. “Pablo said it was amicable. I didn’t like him anyway.”

  Sebastian smiled. “What was wrong with him?”

  “Not good enough for my boy.”

  He put his bag in CeCe’s old room. He remembered it from high school. She’d had it painted lilac back then and had matched all her bedding to her favorite color. Now it had been repainted an eggshell color and the bedding was beige and tan.

  Sebastian remembered Pablo’s room was the one right next to hers. In fact, it was one of those Jack and Jill rooms with a door into the shared bathroom. CeCe used to complain about what a slob Pablo was. He smiled at the memory.

  “Let’s go out to the patio,” Hector called from the hallway.

  “I’ll be there in a minute.”

  “Want a beer?”

  “Sure.” He unzipped his bag and took out the small leather pouch he kept his sundries in and brought them into the bathroom, his gaze on the door that led to Pablo’s room. He bit his lip and took the few steps to the door and rested his hand on it.

  Stupid of course. Pablo’s kiss had been years ago and no one even knew Sebastian was gay. He’d never told anyone. Not even Hector. He was still hiding it after all these years.

  Shame washed over him. Hector and his family would accept him. He knew that. But his own family? Sebastian wasn’t so sure. But how long could he wait to deny that part of himself? He was twenty-two and living a lie.

  Just a second too late, he felt the movement of the door under his hand, and the door opened. Sebastian blinked and stepped back as he came face-to-face with Pablo Rivera. Shirtless. Wearing only a pair of sweatpants.

  Pablo didn’t seem surprised to see him standing there gaping. His lips had curved in the familiar sexy smile.

  His once chin length hair was cropped short, like a cop, Sebastian supposed. He had a bit of a five o’clock shadow dusting his chin. And those whiskey-brown eyes looked…amused.

  “Hi,” Sebastian squeaked. Oh, lord. What was he, a mouse?

  “Hello, Sebastian.”

  Same husky voice.

  Jesus he was in deep shit.

  “I guess we’re sharing a bathroom.” Pablo eyed the leather pouch clutched in Sebastian’s hand.

  “Um, yeah. H-how are you, Pablo?”

  “I’m good.” Pablo’s smile widened. “Very good.”

  Chapter 2

  Pablo had almost forgotten just how fucking adorable Sebastian Walton was. How long had it been since he’d seen the cute little blond? Probably last time was Cecilia’s wedding.

  The messy windswept hair had darkened to a more honey blond than the bleached blond he’d had then. He liked it better. It went really well with the sky blue eyes framed by honey colored lashes. A more natural look.

  Across the bridge of Sebastian’s nose was a smattering of freckles. Too sweet.

  “I think I hear Hector calling you,” he said.

  Sebastian continued to stare at him, rather like a deer caught in headlights. His tongue darted out to run over his bottom lip. It took everything in Pablo not to trap that tongue within his own lips. Later perhaps.

  “Sebastian?”

  “Oh. Yeah, sorry. It’s, well, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you, I guess. You’re still a cop?”

  He grinned. “Yes. And you’re still a student.”

  “Just for a short time. I graduate next semester.”

  “I love smart guys.” When Sebastian blushed, Pablo couldn’t help but be glad he’d said it. So adorable. “What is your major again?”

  “Pre-med.”

  “Ah, yes, I remember now. A doctor.” He folded his arms in front of his chest. “How sexy.”

  “S-sexy?”

  “Uh-huh. I think so anyway.” He tilted his head to the right side. “Girlfriend?”

  “No.”

  Pablo was pretty sure Sebastian was gay. Had been gay even back when Pablo had taken the chance and kissed him in the pool out back. But since then, Sebastian hadn’t said so. He’d certainly know if Sebastian had. Obviously the younger man had his reasons for keeping quiet. But Pablo was curious.

  He stopped himself from speaking about it. Yet. “I think Hector wants you to join him in the backyard.”

  Sebastian swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Right. Um. Thanks. See you?”

  “Actually I thought I’d join you outside for a beer.”

  Sebastian nodded. “Okay then.”

  * * * *

  Pablo slapped his brother on the back as he stepped outside holding the icy cold bottle of beer he’d chosen from the refrigerator. Hector sat at a round table with a blue umbrella looming over it for shade. Sebastian sat opposite him at the table. Beyond the cemented covered patio lay the gated pool area.

  It was too cold for swimming just then. In a few months it would be spring and perhaps warm enough to swim again. He suspected he’d probably still be living at the old house.

  He chose the lawn chair closest to Sebastian and plopped down heavily in it. With CeCe living with her husband in Palmdale, and Hector away at school, Mama was by herself. Or had been until he’d moved back. She had her friends and neighbors who’d look after her, but Pablo was glad she had him now. Peter had been a real dick. The thought of that made him smile a little. He’d been sorry it hadn’t worked out with Peter, but not sorry to be with Mama.

  “Mama said you broke up with Peter,” Hector said, as though reading his mind.

  Pablo took a large swallow of the cold beer. “He broke up with me.” He shrugged. “Not that it matters. I would have done it if he hadn’t. Irreconcilable differences.”

  “I thought maybe he was a dirty cheater.”

  “Nah, just an ass. It happens.” He leaned forward to ruffle Hector’s hair. “What about you, little brother? You got yourself a chica?”

  Hector smacked him away. “Yes, as a matter of fact. I’m seeing a girl at school. Diane.”

  “She didn’t want to come to meet us?”

  His brother rolled his eyes and then gave Sebastian an “I told you so” look. “We only started just before Christmas. It’s too soon to bring her. She went to see her own family. From Chicago.”

  Pablo smiled. “But no girl for you, huh, Sebastian?”

  Sebastian’s cheeks got pink, but instead of answering he brought his beer bottle to his lips.

  “He’s shy,” Hector answered for him. “He’s got girls interested, but he doesn’t know how to talk to them.” He shook his head. “Remember it was CeCe who pursued him.”

  “Maybe you should give him pointers, being the stud you are and all.” Pablo laughed when his brother scowled. “Seriously. I’m surprised you don’t have a girlfriend, Sebastian.”

  “I’m going to school to learn not find a girlfriend,” Sebastian said quietly.

  “Wise man. Don’t waste that Stanford education.”

  The sliding door opened to reveal Mama standing there holding a spatula. “Hector, come help me with the dinner.”

  “Coming, Mama.” Hector rose and headed inside, closing the door behind him.

  Pablo gazed out at the pool. “Do any swimming up there?”

  Sebastian cleared his throat. “Not too much. Not working today?”

  “No, today is my first of three days off. Then I’ll work four days, long shifts. I asked for these days knowing Hector was coming.”

  “I hope you didn’t mind that I came, too.”

  Hector had called just two days earlier to ask if Sebastian could come for a visit, too. He’d originally been planning to go skiing with another group of friends but according to Hector the trip had gotten canceled and Sebastian didn’t wan
t to hang at Stanford alone.

  “Don’t mind at all. I like seeing you.”

  Sebastian fell quiet, seeming to be very interested in his beer. Pablo was about to say he was going in to see if more help was needed when Sebastian shifted just a little in his chair.

  “Was it hard?” Sebastian asked in a near whisper.

  “What?”

  “Coming out to everyone. Your family, friends, co-workers. I would think it was really hard to have everyone judging you like that.”

  Pablo nodded and set his beer down on the table. He wasn’t going to lie to Sebastian. It had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done. “Yeah, it was. It took a lot of thinking and wondering for me to decide to tell everyone I was gay. My family comes from a long line of pretty strict Mexican Catholics. I wasn’t entirely sure how they would react. I thought they’d be accepting, but, you know, it’s difficult to tell. You can only hope.”

  “But they did.”

  “Yep. I lost a few friends and sometimes work can be tense,” Pablo admitted. “There’s still a lot of macho attitude in the force. Guys don’t want to work with you, stupid pranks played on you, that kind of thing.”

  Sebastian bit his lip. “Sounds awful.”

  He shrugged. “It’s no picnic. But I had to be true to myself. Even if no one I’d known before wanted to know me anymore, I still had to do it. No regrets.”

  “You’re very brave.”

  The sliding door opened again and Hector stuck his head out. “Dinner’s ready.”

  * * * *

  Pablo stood brushing his teeth just before bed. After dinner, he, Hector and Sebastian had cleaned up the kitchen, and then they’d all played a board game. Hector had announced just before they’d all retired that in the morning he and Sebastian were going to the zoo. Something they’d done often as children. Pablo had been invited to join them.

  He rinsed out his mouth, set his toothbrush down, and turned toward the door leading to Sebastian’s room. He should probably let it go. Just turn around and enter his room, turn out the light and get some sleep.

  But he couldn’t.

  Pablo tapped lightly on the door.